Slow Progress

Well my hunger seems to have gone, which can only be a good thing, right?! So It's been quite easy to stay under 1000calories, but I'm finiding I'm not losing that fast...aaaaaghhh. So What I'm going to do is eat a little more on one day of the weekend to boost my metabolism and it will also fool the my friends and family as I usually see them at weekend and as far as they know I'll be eating like normal.

I'm stuck at 176.5lbs at the moment, this could also be down to the wrong time of the month, but usually I lose more during that time, so I doubt it. But today I'm having a little more today to boost my metabolism. Fingers crossed it will work. I havent eaten anything yet, so that's probably not a good start.lol.

I just wish it would all happen faster. I want to be at my GW sooner rather than later. I might have to consider throwing in fast days if I can.

Distraction

I'm so cold and hungry, that I'm trying to distract myself from eating. I've tried concentrating on Uni work, but that isn't happening as all I can think about is food. Why am I addicted? I wish I could be like those normal people that don't always eat or think about food. Today my calories will be under 800calories, if I stay strong. Then fingers crossed I will lose tomorrow as I needa start losing again.

Ohhh we get this veg, fruit and meat box delivered to our home and its all locally sourced and organic. So I'm trying new foods all the time and because its all fruit and veg in the fridge and only meat in the freezer, there is no temptation in the house to eat naughty things. Sometimes that is a bad thing because it makes me do crazy things such as make a huge bowl of pasta or eat porridge or make crumbles just so I can binge.

I've got a presentation tomorrow in front of the whole class to show my webdesign ideas. I'm not looking forward to it and don't want to finish my presentation because if it is never finished it means in my weird brain that I never have to present. I just hate making a prat outa myself in front of everyone. I don't want or need attention. I want to sit quietly and perfectly in my little bubble with my ideas, away from horrible loud people that do mean things. I know I will do the presentation and fingers crossed do a good job because its for 30% of my grade, but I'm dreading it inside.

Terrible

Well the weekend was terrible on food. Im such a fatty. My intentions were good but Im sure Im addicted to food or sugar. The worst part was saturday when I had a roast and a mini crumble. Thats got to have been loads of calories!!!! And yesterday I binged on chocolate.

So today Im trying to be good and staying within 1000 calories. I have wanted biscuits at work when the girls raided the biscuit tin, but I decided to be good...biscuits will not make me skinny! I know 1000 is loads but if I break into it gently, hopefully I wont go so crazy.

Progress

Well I barely ate yesterday, and I wasn't even hungry. I was working so hard on my uni work that I don't think I let the thought cross my mind. I only ate risotto with my partner as he would've started to get suspicious.

Well it all paid off because over the last two days I lost 4.7lbs, most of it is probably water weight, but I'm under 180lbs so thats definitely progress.

Today I've got a cold, it came on over night. But it will be a perfect excuse to tell my other half I cant eat much because of my sore throat.

Thinspiration : Zooey Deschanel

The First Step

I decided yesterday, this is the final straw, I have to start work on myself. I know I need to lose weight. I have tried many different ways over the last few years, however the only successful way is this way. 

A woman at work yesterday was sitting in our office using a computer, as hers was not working, and she is beautiful, very slim and very tall. Exactly what you think a model should look like and she's nearly 30 and looks younger than me. Someone mentioned diets and she said to lose weight she brings her calories down to 750 per day and makes it really healthy food. Now I know I can lose weight like that as I've done it before, so what she was saying made perfect sense to me. I was just amazed at what she normally eats in a day is not a lot at all but her attitude towards food seamed so healthy, probably explains why she is slim; whilst I look like a fat slob that eats everything in sight. 

This made me think that wanting to lose weight by eating 800-1000 calories per day is not that unhealthy. So I started immediately. Yesterday I ate 1086 calories, just a bit over the 1000 but I will work to do better today. Unfortunately I still have to eat dinner as I eat this with my partner and he knows I have suffered from anorexia before and I don't want to worry him.

This blog is not a food diary, this is somewhere I can rant or celebrate my weight loss.